Some of you may have noticed from past blog posts that I mention my little L’s hands quite often. This is because from the moment she was born, I noticed that she and I had the exact same hands. This is the feature I remember most about her.
She was in the hospital for some time after she was born. She was born prematurely and was just not ready to leave the hospital. She had to stay in her little “incubator” and could only come out for 30 minutes at a time to be fed and then had to be put right back in so her core temperature did not drop. Because of this, I spent lots of time holding her little hand. I would sit in a chair next to her and just hold hands with her until it was time to take her out and feed her again. I knew my time with her was short and I wanted to take advantage of every moment I had with her.
After she was released from the hospital, we met for one final goodbye before she left out of state to her new home. They left me alone in the room with her and told me to take as much time as I needed. I don’t remember how much time passed, but I do remember those hands. I sang her songs, I breathed in her heavenly new born scent, and I kissed those hands over and over again. Soon I would not be able to feel her wrap those little fingers around mine. I knew that in just a few short moments, her tight squeeze would be around her new mommy’s finger, not mine.
It has been 7 years and I still remember exactly what it felt like when she wrapped her tiny little fingers around mine. Hopefully one day I will be able to take a picture of our hands together again.